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Author: Scottish Finger Cuffs

Maple Sap Hash

Maple Sap Hash

Yes! There was a hash yesterday! Or did a lot of people just gather in a Metropark to fall on their asses on ice? You decide. Anyway, there we were standing around waiting for circle to start when Lord of the Banjos gets a phone call. His facial expression transforms from confusion to shock to horror. Who’s on the other end of the line? No Pussy of course, who has been dropped off accidentally by his Uber 2 miles from…

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Yes! There was a hash yesterday!

Yes! There was a hash yesterday!

So there we were driving down a one-way, dog infested street in a tiny neighborhood where probably 75 % of the remaining residents of Delray call home. We found the snow covered parking lot. You could tell we were in the right spot as the missing member of ICP, 2 Dopey was there to greet us (See below.) After hearty hellos and a longer than necessary chalk talk, although with a wonderfully vivid neon orange flour, the hares were off…

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Halloween Hash Costume Party

Halloween Hash Costume Party

so there i was……… At first BN while waiting for runners one walker [TMI 😉 ]was a bit frustrated at how short the first half distance had been. admittedly I had been disoriented with the area on first pass. i did however assure said hasher that the 2nd half would be more. after having waited for runners their fearless hare set off to find her missing souls. She was a bit concerned given that at least 1 runner should have…

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Cum while they are sleeping hash re-cap

Cum while they are sleeping hash re-cap

There I was on a Thursday evening getting ready to beat my meat to some hot covid antibody chicks, but first I had to wait for the email with the passcode for my 7-day trial. When I stumbled upon an email from none other than Coxcykle stating that there that hares were needed for the weekend. While the image of Cocykles hairy legs emerging from his shorts turned my half-cub member full flaccid it did spark a fire inside and…

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F-F Goose Haring

F-F Goose Haring

Summary: We somehow pulled off another successful hash. Of the 20ish hashers who participated this weekend only 2 got really lost, so I consider that a win. Some notes: – Multiple hashers commented that following the ground impressions from the Blumpkin/Boner Stroller made it much easier to follow trail. There are requests that Blumpkin do this for every trail from now on. – The group hashers at 5:00 took the first “FRB” seriously, clearing an entire cooler of 8-10 beverages…

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Norman Cockwell and Slip-n-Ride Haring

Norman Cockwell and Slip-n-Ride Haring

So THERE WE WERE at the Beer Grotto in Dexter listening to VAgiant explain to No Pussy that No Pussy’s new job is actually a demotion and not a promotion. Asti asked me if I was nervous to co-hare with Norman Cockwell, which I thought was a strange question until we actually started the hash and I realized that Cockwell had not told me diddly about trail route and I had no idea where I was going 95% of the…

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Puta Hash

Puta Hash

So there I was…… sitting in the pavilion waiting for my cohares. Most of the trail planning was done but there may have been a little scouting and prelaying to do before the pack shows up. The heat of the day was definitely going to kick our asses. Free Cunt and Scottish Fingercuffs show up and we go on our happy way exploring the aspects of trail. While out and about Slurpee pops out of the woods from doing a…

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Evil Dead: The Hash RESERECTION

Evil Dead: The Hash RESERECTION

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the Evil Dead Hash. Things started well with some sweet hash swag but the situation quickly declined when The pack missed an entire half of trail, finding the second beer near first. Yay beer ! There was an impromptu snowball fight. One in which your humble narrator was viciously assaulted in the left testicle. 😢. There was a new favorite hash song discovered, SHAME ! There…

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OhHowIHateOhioState XI (now with even more hate)

OhHowIHateOhioState XI (now with even more hate)

There was still a chill in the air and dawn was near….when we decided to put a end to the Indeterminate Pub Crawl because, damnit, I had to set trail in a few hours! A few hours later there was still a chill in the air but the sun was visible. Fueled by bagels, our friend alcohol, and a $0 hash cash the pack came together at Hunt Park. A pre-trail highlight was Capt.Underpants deciding that staying upright was too…

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Cinco De Mayo Hash

Cinco De Mayo Hash

Cinco De Mayo Hash! So there we were in Mexican Town hoping to partake in the Cinco De Mayo parade. Many hashers were dressed as luchadores while others tried to fit in and dress like the locals. Winter Merkin provided the blessing. Merkin’s Blessing “Que el camino sea largo. Que haya mucha cerveza por todos. Los luchadores sobrios. Merecen el agua Porque son pendejos. Ay, ay, ay, ay ¡Corran borrachos! Porque queremos cerveza. Y esperamos un buen camino.” What the…

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