Hash Trash: 2.26.12
Location: Bronco’s Saloon in Dearborn, MI
Hares: Diaper Rash, Chicken Dick, Rambush: First Blood
Hounds: Just Mike, After School Special, COMB, Winter Merkin, Ass To Math, Ride the Pony, BFF, Donkey, Pennsil Vein, Semper Pi, TMI, Used Virgin, Ring Around the Russell, Just Ashley, Just Mallory, Vagiant, Cakehole, Coxcycle, No Pussy for Me, I’m not a Cock, Phantom of the Areola, Pubio, Udderly Fuuuuuuucked, Scottish Fingercuffs, Slurpee Seconds, The Stranger, Full Mental Jacket, 2 Vicadin and a Bottle of Wine, Damaged Goods, Sex and Ate, Rubber Gloves, Trannyhead.
Hash Trash Highlights: This was the second time that Diaper brought the hash to one of his nostalgic locations from his childhood (assuming as a young Rash he visited here on “bring your child to work” days). You would think everyone at circle had hard nipples from the heavy winds, however it was COMB and his beard and expertly styled moustache that changed every chest that met his gaze. As always, there were late-cummers, this time Used Virgin and Ring Around the Russell, not to mention 2 Vic’s at the on-after.
The trail started as usual, with mass confusion and chaos. Luckily the extra beers that the runners left behind for Ride the Pony and COMB fueled them up to catch up and help lead the hashers in the right direction. Special features of the trail included: crawling under (or jumping over in Slurpee’s version) railroad cars, climbing and leaping over (or BFF’s method of slithering under) fences of great heights, parking garage falses, unnecessary railroad track running, a missed FRB beer check due to a lack of visible flour, excessive chivalry on trail from Vagiant, Just Michael and all the other walkers, Pennsil Vein’s failure to open a beer bottle causing COMB to go into “Hulk Smash Mode” and shattering it, not to mention the always-concerned Dearborn local asking us the question, “Are you guys playing hide-and-go-seek?”
On After: The hashers were greeted in the Saloon by the warm titty-stare of the bare-chested barmaid and by the copious pitchers of the finest Bud and Bud light money could buy. No Pussy exhausted all of his female options at the bar within the first 15 minutes of the On After, leaving the other hashers smacking their hands to their faces in bewilderment. One hasher (a virgin even!) was honored with a name: Full Mental Jacket, while another hasher, Just Michael, was left with the nameless blue balls again. Many accusations were thrown that night, almost all causing Rambush: First Blood to down-down herself into oblivion. Memorable accusations include: Chivalry on Trail (down-downs provided by the “Safety Thirds” tube) and No Pussy failing miserably to pick up the bare-chested barmaid, yet again.
Your Furry Friends,
Winter Merkin & Cum On My Backteria