Hash Trash 8.18.2012
H@res: VaGiant, Just Beth, I’m Not a Cock
Hounds: 2 Vicodin, Asti Spunk On Me, CakeHole, Chicken Dick, Cunt Remember, How’d He Do Me, No Pussy, Olive Dick, Pennsil Vein, Rambush: First Blood, Semper Pi (beer bitched), TMI General, Tranny Head, Udderly Fucked, Whip It Out, Hept C, Just Kirov & Just Shiver, Just Brian, Just Heather, Just Kelly, Just Kyle, Just Steven, Just Kelly 2, Just Arthur, & 7 virgins
You thought the Olympics were over, but the hashers revived the spirit for one more day. The r*nning hares were adorned in matching red shiny hair with tiaras, extra small red shorts, blue sparkly toppish things and cute red/white/blue bikini tops while the walker hare sported a wrestling singlet. Many hashers wore medal and called it a day, but others took it to the extremes. Chicken Dick says he was a Japanese gymnast but everyone thought he was trying to take us back in time with his Bruce Jenner look. Just Kyle was one of the most comically dressed with the hypodermic needle taped to his arm. Udderly was geared up and prepared to cheat with his bad mitten rackets as he rolled up on his bike. TMI & Semper Pi were wearing matching condoms, well shirt with condom rings & they included Durex of course the only condom of the Olympics. The blind referee Olive Dick helped out the hares awarding points for the events of the day.
Trail was trail, but at the beer nears is where the fun really happened. The first BN brought the first Olympic sport of penis ring toss, bet you are sorry you missed it. If you want to get the images stuck in your head, ask one of the participants for the details, my lips are sealed. Back to trail which leads to the second BN and a deserted school bus. Did you know the roof of a school bus can hold 12 hashers? The Olympic Games continued with beer can bowling (with a Frisbee). VaGiant awarded points for knocking down cans and style; the most astonishing feet was Just Beth hitting all cans from the top of the bus. Maybe she should be tested for doping. Taking advantage of the surrounding, a bus pushing event was added. They are easier to push than you would think, but getting it to not roll back over silly hashers was a little more difficult.
Ceremonies were short back to the cars but all participants were awarded their very own gold medal. The transplant hasher Just Kristen was named Cunt Remember for forgetting her hash name. Pennsil Vein could not wait for announcements, as he was bursting with excitement telling all that Sharin’ Fluids (the late comer) is expecting. The Olympic torch was stowed for the trip to the on-after location.
Everyone arrived at the on-after, where there was pizza, chips, pasta salad, jello shots and BEER aplenty! Trim My Bush and Afterschool Special were keeping the pool water warm (maybe even a little yellow), in their last appearance before they leave us for hazy California.
The Olympic Games resumed with the ever popular Drunk Diving event. The dives were as smooth as No Pussy’s pick-up lines. Chicken Dick put on a great show with his handstand dive. Not A Cock pulled off a beautifully executed Belly-Flop, dousing all of the onlookers. And, VAGiant managed to pull a leg muscle, mid-dive. Though I think he didn’t want to admit that it was actually his ankle. Trim My Bush was disqualified from the beginning, seeing as he has an unfair advantage when it comes to water/swimming events.
Just Beth didn’t participate in the Diving, but still managed to bring home the Gold Medal with her performance in the Beer Can Bowling. The Silver Medal was a tie between one of the Virgin’s, Just Ashley, for her spectacular cartwheel dive and How’d He Do Me for his triple twist dive (or was it for his Kilt-shedding naked belly-flop dive?). Bringing home the Bronze Medal was Cakehole, I assume, for his overall outstanding performance throughout the day. Of course, it’s more likely that he just bought off the blind ref.
ON-ON, until the next fun event