So there I was on a windy, cold, drizzly Monday evening in Hamtramck. A place named after a French guy who got drunk and left an “a” out if his name when he was signing his bar tab and was too embarrassed to admit the mistake. There was a small group of hashers there when I pulled into the stadium parking lot. We had Hairy Squatter, a guy in a Unabomber hoodie who turned out to be Show and Tell, Cock Lobster (aghghghgh) still in his scrubs and hoping that first responder look would keep him from getting mugged. There was also a big man, bald with a glorious beard and a loose baggy shirt. As we were in a Muslim majority city I figured he was one of the locals come offer “protection” for our cars. Turns out it was Cakehole who comes up here for work for but doesn’t like us enough to tell us.
Anyway, the hare, A Girl Named Steve was already gone so we drank beers and got cold and hit the trail. This was a pleasant trail at least at the start, seeming to go up and down every street in Hamtramck. We saw the Pope statue, all the parks, Hamtramck Disneyland, the Catholic churches, the Mosques, the Kowalski Sausage. We even ventured into Detroit for a good mile or so. Trail went on and on (a bit of FRB) and on. After four miles or so we finally got to the beer check at the most delightful Outer Limits Lounge and there was much rejoicing. We had beers and something that could have been described as a circle. We decided that the hare wasn’t drinking enough so Show and Tell asked the bartender for “the most awful, worst tasting thing you have”. She proceeded to pull out a flashlight, get on her knees and reach way back on the bottom shelf for a dusty bottle of Montenegrin rakija. Steve was not pleased at all but took most of it down. I finished it – tasted at bit like fresh gasoline. When we left the Outer Limits my focus was a little soft but I was still in control of the vertical (que TV reference).
We walked back to the start together, cuz safety third. Our cars were still there. We had beers, orange food and On-Out.Thanks to A Girl Named Steve for putting on a weeknight trail and a very shitty one at that. I hear the Ladies Hash was also out and about on the trails last night in Kensington… Maybe we’ll do this again next month. Maybe Cakehole will hare. Stay tuned.
Hare: A Girl Named Steve
Pack: Hairy Squatter, Show and Tell, Cakehole, Cock Lobster and your humble hash scribe, Whip It Out.