Hare: Dog Fucker
Hounds: Rambush: First Blood, I am Not a Cock, Semper Pi, Ride the Pony, Diaper Rash, 6 O’Cock, Krusty Kitty, Snitch Snatch, Just Jack aka Buff Data, Just Brian (virgin), Just XXX, Just XXX (sorry, too many margarita’s maybe)
So Here We Are, I mean there we were in the parking lot behind Andrews on the Corner Bar, nice location with The Rattle Snake Club in front of us, the river to the right and Atwater Brewing to our left. It was almost like we were Havana Daydreaming in the heat watching the security and border patrol cruising by only to be interrupted by one of the many vehicles making 3 point u-turns on the street (weird b/c it happened so much). We were a small but colorful group of hashers all wearing our own style of Hawaiian shirt or Buffet style attire, including fish whistles and flower leis. Although we looked good, one hasher smelled particularly bad and tried to clear the area with his toxic gas.
Chalk talk was very literally chalk talk as there was no flour used for the trail. The trail was laid completely in chalk, some in very festive rainbow style, but I will get back to the chalk trail part later. After the brief intros, the hare was blessed in a way to get him ready for the concert later, it went a little something like this: I don’t know the hare well, he made lead us thru hell. Hope he lays flour that helps us find beer. With lots of checks too, and FRB for you. On on we’ll be all the way thru the trail. Hashing away again in old Detroit, searching for the little blotages of flour. Some people say that is all about the run, but I know…. it’s really for beer. Did you pick up the tune, if not re-read it thinking/humming Margaritaville. 5 minutes later off we were.
Trail was a little shorter than usual which worked well for the pack especially considering we felt like we were taking a Trip Around the Sun with this heat wave. Dog F’er decided to confuse the virgin, NFN and late comers by laying an ‘x’ for a mark, then an x in a circle for a check. He also had true arrows (with 3 cross lines) and regular arrows just to further mess with the half-mind. He did drink for this at ceremonies though. The first BN had some beer but even more beer-ritas and apple pie moonshine, too bad one of the hasher had to miss it because he thought he had to fart and really sharted so while we drank up he washed out his shorts. The second BN had a special treat for all, a freshly poured growler from Atwater, so we drank and enjoyed the Bama Breeze and scenery of the Detroit river front.
This was probably the first hash in Detroit that we ran all around the Dequindre cut without ever stepping foot on it, another new twist. Several bystanders asked who we were chasing or what we were running from, clearly that is the only reason people run in Detroit, maybe they need Changes in Latitude or Changes in Attitude. It truly was a pack run with the DFL usually able to see the FRB on trail. The only thing that might have made it more adventurous would have been a little dip in the river but without Fins and floaties it might have been a little dangerous & probably illegal.
The on after offered a variety of food choices including what some might have called Cheeseburgers in Paradise if you liked burgers too tall or bite or fried eggs on your burger. We even had good beer but with the small group and excessive amount I think Dog F’er was already singing Why Don’t We Get Drunk. Our waiter was very, well, entertaining but I am still not sure is the manager was entertained by us when we decided to sing a few songs in honor of the specials he gave us. Come Monday, or Tuesday or next Friday we may be specifically welcomed back to the bar to enjoy the music of a band that sings dirty sailor songs, just our style right?
Bet you are sad you missed this fun filled hash. If you just can’t wait until the weekend to enjoy Speed Semen’s Anal (Annual) Dress Hash, or just like travel hashing I have just the reminder for you. Toledo’s hash this Wednesday is a pool hash, wear your suit as there will be multiple pools on trail, with the theme, you may even get to know what A Pirate Looks at Forty.