MC Hammer’ed Hash

MC Hammer’ed Hash

So there we were in lovely Mon-roe hanging out near the basketball court and military helicopters… Show decided to tap his foot towards a local who was there for a ‘pick up’ basketball game, no game happened so instead he ran his virgin hash with us. The hashers started to gather, then the hardcore boys showed up, the ones that decided to run a beer mile in Ypsi before the hash. This was really the first step of MC Hammer losing her innocence. Since she was of legal age, COMB & Howdy decided to sandwich her in their sweat. Circle went like normal, and then the blessing went something like this;

My-my-my-my hashing makes me so hard, makes me say where’s my beer
I am now blessing you with a mind to trail and two fast feet
Be good or your pants will go down
I am your super dope RA from the Motown
And I’m known as such
And these are your hares uh u can’t touch

Trail started off normal, I heard rumors of an SBC but I never saw it. Not that anyone was wearing technology, but I believe the first BN was .28 miles from the start down the shiggy and track. It was a really hot day, so the hares were worried about our hydration. The beer was not enough to cool down Pro-Boner so he decided to take a swim, or he just wanted to show off his backstroke. Arf Kelly was convinced to take his first swim ever by his master. This is obviously a popular spot b/c several more locals showed up for a swim.

After the refreshments we were off again. Trail was not only dotted with flour and chalk, but also these cute little bags with fish-hooks all left for MC Hammer. FRB’s did get their miles in by running back to MC each time they came across a bag. This must have been motivation to be near the youngest hasher, b/c it seems like Uncle Touchy picked up several bags, just saying. Trail led us through some industry, some woods, some trails, then finally to a dive bar where we were welcomed in with open arms. MC Hammer had another sweaty sandwich, this time between COMB & Show posing by the legal age sign. Rambush decided her and Not A Cock should win parents of the year for this b-day celebration. The owner caught wind the trail was for someone’s b-day so she made a muffin for the b-day girl with a candle and all. We sang to her hasher style which caused the rest of the locals in the bar to be shocked then laugh. Not wanting the rest of the pack to be left out, the owner also made peanut butter bars for us. She enjoyed us so much, she invited us back and offered to cook for us, gotta love Monroe.

We were off again, more streets, more shiggy and lots more railroad tracks. After 21 fish-hooks, MC was filled to the brim with alcohol and jello shots. She stayed in good spirits and held her own on this punishing trail. BN #3, yes if you were not there you missed a trail with 3 BN’s, was within sight of the helicopters. The pack was hot and sweaty, so that one was a short one then back to the cars.

Ceremonies were, let’s go with spirited, although at some point I did say I hate you all b/c most of you could not keep your mouths shut. We had the normal anniversary, virgins, back sliders & accusations, then Diaper in rare form decided to sing a No Pussy inspired song. The visitors were so shocked, I am not sure they ever want to see the real thing. At some point during the ceremonies, Whip came running up, soaked in sweat and parched. Not sure why he was late, although I heard rumor of a BJ in Canton, but the fact that he made it back from the right direction was proof the trail was well laid with some supporting arrows left by Pony.

On after was held at the house of bad decisions south. Food was plentiful, beer was flowing and the volume was deafening. A transplant, rather unfortunately named Dave like we really need another one, decided to bring a bottle of Jameson to share. There was dancing, there was drinking, there was passing out with penises above your head, and there was lots of fun going on. I am still confused, but I walked in on Diaper having a conversation with MC about No Pussy. The best most of us could figure, is that she could hold the magic power over him, she could be the princess that turns the frog into a prince or kill him off, or something like that. Over all I think MC had one of the best 21st b-day celebrations anyone could ask for!


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