From the desk of Slip’N Ride

Looking ahead at the calendar for a date where both the calendar and I were open (lol), I found the lovely Sunday, February 22, and claimed the date to hare. Determined to undo my reputation of being a lazy and shitty hare, I thought long and hard (heh heh) about trail and planned it in advance, even printing out maps to follow. I was delighted when Harry Squatter offered to be my walker hare. With the recent bout of warm weather, I was hopeful for a beautiful and pleasant day for the hash; alas, when I set out to pre-lay leg 2 it was cold and snow was blowing diagonally against me. Supported by blasting the Red Hot Chili Peppers in my headphones (don’t ask), I left the car at the BN and began to lay trail for leg two through my favorite Ann Arbor neighborhood. Nearly immediately, a couple walking a dog shouted at me for throwing orange flour on peoples’ lawns, but luckily I couldn’t hear specifically what they were saying (see RHCP, above). Marks I laid down were quickly washed away in the dampness/snowed over/shoveled away, and I did briefly think to myself, huh, I wonder how this is going to go in 2 hours for the runners, but I didn’t worry too much. 

After a lovely 2.5 miles, I arrived at the on-start and was delighted with the prompt arrival of my co-hare and 15 other hashers, all in fine spirits despite the weather. Coxcycle did immediately tell me that he had to leave early to go see Korn in concert, so he wouldn’t be there at the end, too bad. Circle was prompt (dare I say early?) and after a quick pre-lube Harry and I were off to set trail. With the big USA Olympic hockey win (RIP Johnny Gaudreau & Jack Hughes’ teeth) I introduced the “puck check,” where you had to wait for at least 3 hashers to gather at the check to shout “USA! USA! USA!”, and I heard it was pretty fun! Harry and I were efficient, but not efficient enough, because while we were peacefully laying trail on Stadium, what did we hear but the sounds of whistles and the pack bearing down upon us. Oops. I laid a quick puck check, wished Harry godspeed and sprinted off. I managed to hold them off but did have to shave off about half a mile of trail, which ended up being fine (reminder to hares: trail is always longer than you think it is!). The highlight of this scene was me laying a check only to turn around to see The Jugglenut sprinting directly at me down the road at what appeared to be 45 miles per hour. GOTTA GO! 

The BN was well-received with orange food and Yuengling Black & Tans, though VaGiant was mad there wasn’t a specialized bathroom placed there for him. Sorry about your tummy, bro. We were honored with the late arrival of Flaming Lips directly to the BN–who told her where it was???? (It was me). We had about ten minutes of concern for the walkers when they didn’t show up, and Harry went looking for them, but they arrived just in time (20 minutes late). Harry set off soon after to lay walker leg two, and I was living large, as I had pre-laid leg 2 and had nothing to do but drive my car to the BN and wait for folks to come in. I was hopeful about this leg, as I had thought it was really nice while laying it, but the picture of 5 lost people peering at a 6-way intersection in the woods that was later showed to me said otherwise. Oh well! I made a phone call and had a beer at Allmendinger and it was all right as rain on my end, until VaGiant once again ran in bitching about how much he had to go to the bathroom. Dude! Sorry you ate at a buffet on a Royal Caribbean cruise. And sorry I gave you false info about the Allmendinger bathrooms. 🙁 Everyone basically arrived right at the same time after that, which is how it’s supposed to go! Nicely done to me and Harry. 🙂 Coxycle left to go sit in the front row at Korn, and circle was brief with one accusation that I can’t remember. Sounds like it wasn’t anything that bad! The new hash hymnals were put into fine use, what a great idea and execution by Banjo! B-I-M-B-O!

Most of us then retired to Session Room, where they CANNOT SIMPLY CANNOT split the check, fyi. Luckily Pliable Wood is a calm and relaxed man and paid and we all Venmo’d him; frankly I hope he made money. We chatted extensively about all the things, folks had some good food, and we all told each other how much we love hashing. Then I lost my car key and was mortified. Thanks to everyone who helped me look, and I found it! 

It was really nice to hare and see everyone, and I mean that. Thanks to those who made time to come out in crappy weather. Next weekend is the Girl Scout Cookie Hash! Sunday, March 1 EARLY START. I hope there are cookies at all the checks! 😉

TLDR; we had a nice hash yesterday. 🙂 Thanks for coming out!

On-on!
Slip’n’Ride