Short & sweet or absurd & grandiose… Choose your own adventure!

PJ & Jammies Hash

It’s time for the 12^th Anal PJ & Jammies Hash so don your nighttime’s best onesies, bathrobes, whitey-tighties, negligees, or your most recent one-night stand’s sweatshirt and join us for some frolicking and fuckery in the glorious and pothole ridden streets of Detroit.

Seasonally Affected Hash

Wanks,

Are you disordered? Seasonally? Sexually? Spiritually? Gastrointestinally?

Bad news, buds… I visited the oracles high atop Mount AccuWeather® and no level of bribes, threats, or sexiness could dissuade them from their grim determination that SE Michigan will see not one solitary ray of sunshine for yet ANOTHER ten days.

SAD.

In a humble (and likely counterproductive) effort to brighten up our days some meager amount, I make you an offering of Trail.

Return of the Ypsi-Panti Hash

Gather round, wanks, and listen to a tale of buffoonery and woe…

10 years ago this month, three idiots with more harings (3, 0, and 0) than collective braincells got together and threw a hash in Ypsi. It had a “fun for 4°F” theme of wearing your underwear outside your clothes, and was called the YpsiPANTI Hash in honor of Ypsilanti’s once thriving undergarment industry. Like the products crafted by the Ypsilanti Underwear Company,  this hash promised the endorsement of “all physicians” to “induce good health” and “enhance the pleasure of exercise”…

It was a total sh#tshow. A disaster that was every bit as predictable as it was stupid.

5.5 mile leg 1? Sure.

After hours of unmitigated f#ckery most of the pack was eventually redirected, sober and upset, back to the start, either by car or by frozen death march along the Huron River.

Your author was one of the miserable hares responsible for Ypsipanti 1.0, but this hash is not about his unlikely redemption. The first Ypsipanti was also the virgin hash of our beloved Backstage Ass. For reasons passing understanding, she returned. She came again. And again and again. And now, though it may have taken her a decade, it would seem that some good sense has finally caught up with her. Backstage will soon be leaving us for (slightly) more southern climes, and this will be her farewell Motown haring… So, without further fanfare, here are the details for the Return of The Ypsipanti Hash.