Hares: Lube My Beads, Diaper Rash, Six O’Cock
Hashers: After School Special, Trim My Bush, Ride the Pony, Semper Pi, Touch Myself In General, Sex & Ate, Coxcykle, Tranny Head, Too Drunk 2 Fuck, Udderly F-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ucked, Pubio, Show & Tell, Rambush: First Blood, I’m Not a Cock, Ass To Math, Cum On My Back-teria, Winter Merkin, Phantom of the Areola, A Just, The Rapist
The heat could melt transplants on this fine afternoon in Mexi-Melvindale. The local thugs and gang members hid behind their curtains in fear of the White-trash Cholo Hares that strutted around in their “flannel”, khaki shorts and do-rags. The INS-hashers arrived in full gear, as well as fellow illegals. The pair for whom this deportation-themed hash was thrown show up in true style, After School Special in her Washtenaw County Sheriff badge and camouflage, and Trim My Bush in his Mexican “tri-suit”: a one-piece bathing suit with short sleeves and shorts with a flattering skirt. Semper Pi hobbled to her place in the shade on her crutches and bum knee, while the rest of the group hovered in and out of the direct heat and threw back a few Tecate and Dos Equis, eying the Appalachian swimming pool that Lube inflated.
Before the first beer check, the 4ish miles of suburban trail seemed unbearable for many. A new mark created by the hares (aka. the Mex-check) was numerously left for hashers, as was a Boob Check promoting safe sex. The hashers knew they were getting closer when discovering tequila shots for many, and when a few wanks *cough* Sex & Ate and I’m Not a Cock *cough* hand ANOTHER encounter with the police.
The first beer check inside of shaded trash heap was like an oasis to our dehydrated posse. Phantom found stray pussy and couldn’t let it go, so she left with Pubio to de-worm the pussy and clean it up for housebreaking. Meanwhile, fellow h#shers played in the garbage and found literature to assist TMB in successfully learning English finally.
A few minutes after the hares left, the first set of walkers took off, and then shortly after the second set of walkers followed, leaving r#nners like ATM and yours truly to shine in the frickin’-hot-as-balls-I-want-to-die spotlight for a little while and find trail. Second half nearly all the runners decided to walk. Luckily, the second beer check had cum sooner than expected, and there was much whining and rejoicing.
Back at “la casa de Lube”, the heat stroke victims poured themselves into the Appalachian swimming pool. The sombreros, sarapes and diseases caught from playing with the stray pussy were worn for ceremonies. Accusations included overachieving, underachieving and late cumming down downs, playing with pussy down downs, police, shitty trail, etc. After eating some authentic Mexican fare, the h#shers were starting to get a little frisky, especially the “jefe-Lube” of the house, trying to get people to play the game “Guess what’s under my sarape?” Meanwhile, Diaper Rash continued to get someone to read more pages from his new favorite book, Bluey and Dingo.