Hares: Show & Tell, Cum On My Back-teria, Heavy Load

H#shers: Cakehole, Coxcykle, No Pussy 4 Him, I’m Not a Cock, Rambush: First Blood, Just Tory, It’s Pretty Tight, Big Fat Fuck, Don’key, Ride the Pony, Diaper Rash, Lube My Beads, Winter Merkin, Ben Wa Ball-less, Cocktail Weiner, Chicken Dick, TrannyHead, Semper Pi, Touch Myself In General, VAGiant, Asti Spunk On Me, Altared Boy, Pubio, Udderly F-u-u-u-u-u-u-u–u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ucked, Just Bethany,  Virgins and other Just ladies.

A full moon can bring out a lot of questionable characters in Brighton sometimes, and those that had cum to the h#sh weren’t there to disappoint.Vagiant had been pre-lubing since 9am that day. Lube My Beads also had been lubing since 9am that day… so had Don’key. The hares pre-laid some trail, but Heavy Load decided to lurk around in Island Lake Rec for an extra several miles before sauntering to the start. Everyone showed up with a thick sheen of sweat on their skin, and whether that was out of excitement or just healthy sweat glands, it proved that the night was going to be steamy and full of thick air, buggy shiggy and a plethora of drunken moonings.

The full moon also brought out the females, many of them Virgins even; No Pussy began to drink heavily and self-deprecate upon their arrival. Flour was difficult to locate at first, but as we moved off of the road, our headlamps adjusted. A few went down on trail, and the wailing and cursing blended well with the “ON-ON” shouts and other mating calls of the night. By the time everyone was rejoined at the first beer check, No Pussy was puking behind the dumpster and BFF was giving his sweat-nuzzles to anyone with more hair than him.  The Island Lake Rec-Ranger decided to check in on our beloved spectacle, which is par for the course nowadays, isn’t it, I’m Not A Cock? When the hares left and turned off their headlamps, the h#sh knew there was more in store for the night. To help pass the time, Just Bethany and Altared Boy wrestled and slathered each other with mud, while everyone else did their best to hide their raging boners.

Although walking, Diaper Rash avoided getting “chicked” whenever possible. Drunko-Vagiant was mooning more people than even Don’key was. Everyone fell for a False now and again, but luckily we didn’t lose a Virgin in the dark. A little shiggy for the w#lkers, a little circle jerk for the r#nners, but everyone found beer in the end. The 2nd beer check was conveniently located at a pavilion with water pump, aka: impromptu water orgy, and there was much rejoicing. The sticky walk back to the cars was only interrupted by a quick dip or two into the Shopping Plaza fountain. Pony, COMB and No Pussy decided to frolic a little longer in the fountain and showed up incredibly late to Ceremonies.

Naturally when everyone’s blood alcohol levels are higher than their high school grade point averages, circle took FOREVER. However, great strides and strokes were made that evening. Just Talent/Keeley (sp?) was almost dishonored with the name Muffcake, but instead achieved higher dishonors in her self-naming of It’s Pretty Tight. The hares drank to hosting a full moon hash when there wasn’t technically a full moon out. By the time ceremonies were suspended, Semper Pi was going to stuff one of her crutches up the next wank that wanted to belligerently shout something. Since it was too late to get Cozy, the On-After was held at the Show & Tell mini-mansion. Highlights of that  include: Beer, Diaper sporting his fleece Tigers sleep pants, Ben Wa et. al. “re-locating” all of the moveable items in the house (S & T, did you get any butter for your bread yet?), beer, Chicken Dick arriving two hours late with a sober face, a traffic ticket, and some late-night crave food, M&M tosses, beer, and twilight pep talks featuring Cakehole et. al. and No Pussy 4 Him.

ON ON!