The hash started off well with an email from a hare informing everyone that the on-after bar was closing early and we would have to make a new plan. Oh well. We all showed up to enjoy an odd situation where we sold our firstborn child and then got a wristband that allowed us to pour our own beer for the pre-lube. It was extremely hot at circle and shirts were removed and insults hurled.

The hares, led by Just Finn, Just Shaye, and Just Gwen, departed, demanding 15 minutes but conceding to 10 when they were nearly booed to Ohio (JustMyDaddy’sMeat can’t imagine a worse fate). Anyway, the first leg of trail was fine and dandy and we all enjoyed some nice Detroit sights, although there were too few FRBs and too many Falses for some tastes. The first BN was just as predicted at a certain home of Russell and UV but it all worked out as a foreboding storm blew through and we all hid in the conveniently located garage, except for some fucks who stayed in the driveway shooting the shit and getting drenched. The second leg proved slightly less fun as most of the runners got immediately confused by coming at two checks from two different ways and all shouting at each other that the others didn’t know how to hash. After much fussing, true trail was found and then it was a bit of a slog to our second BN dodging the hullaballoo of the Afrobeats festival, the attendees of which were nonplussed to see us. So what’s new. ANYWHO, approximately 50 more PBRs were consumed, along with a few Hamms and a couple White Claws, not to be confused with the also available Capri Suns. The hardy pack then pressed on and completely ignored trail to return to the cars and enjoy circle outside the now-closed on-start bar, but luckily Ring Around the Russell saved circle by bringing us all 100 more beers. 

Circle was celebrated with a great turnout: over 40 hashers, including several visitors from Chicago and several virgins, although Just Jason pretended to be a virgin but had actually attended Interhash last weekend (!). Down down, drink it on down. Chicken Dick graced us all with his presence after returning from purchasing some new Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Dolce & Gabbana Pickle Party shirts. 

Continuing the trend of new bored members, at circle Scottish Fingercuffs gracefully turned over her WebMasturbator role to I’d Do Norman Cockwell! I hope he learns how to use WordPress! 

We then all continued to the on-after at Detroit Shipping Company where folks drank a million more beers, ate some dumplings, and debated whether men take longer to poop than women because they’re waiting for their buttholes to expand or contract. Yuck!

Diaper than revealed what we all knew to be true, that they have no “actual plans” to leave and he is haring a hash this cumming Saturday. Just like the KISS final tour: it never ends! 

Thanks to all the hares for a fabulous hash with a great turnout. Hashing is too fun, it should be illegal! Love to all, stay tuned for details on Diaper’s upcoming haring. 

Slip