Hares: Touch Myself In General, Semper Pi, Hep-C,

Beer Bitch: Vagiant

Hashers: Coxcycle, Tranny Head, Ride the Pony, VD, Heavy Load, 2 Vicadin and a Bottle of Wine, Cum On My Back-teria, Ass To Math, Tramp, Slurpee 2nds, Scottish Fingercuffs, Sex and Ate, Udderly Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked, Decorated Asshole, Dudley J. No Swell, Minute Man, Private Showing( am I right?), Buttery Nipples, I’m Not a Cock, Rambush: First Blood, The Rapist, PennsylVein, Rubber Gloves, Hi Ho Hi Ho, Full Mental Jacket, Maggot, No Pussy for Him, Black Box, Just Mallory, Just Nicki, Just Laura, Just Ashley, Just Scott (x2), Just Brian, Just Amanda, other wanks I don’t remember or made up, Winter Merkin

Where would Dearborn be without our belligerent ass-picking and trash-picking group of wankers? Probably better off, but we had a good time displacing some garbage, watering some trees and shrubs and wearing down some shiggy with our steps. TMI and Semper started the hash in true style, with some sexy new tank tops, plastic bags, beer and cheesy poofs. Despite the multi-colored course, most hashers navigated the trail with little problem, except for a handful of falses and slips into the river at the underpass. Wildlife and children were scared away from the pounding of our feet, our shouts of “ON-ON” and from Udderly’s recent growth of pedophile-like facial hair. The first beer check had cum soon after a good romping in the woods. Hashers arrived with bags full of neglected items, including a bike air pump, a few sweaters, a blue bouncy ball, a couple of shovels, a piss pot, an un-eaten taco (much like most of No Pussy’s dates), and traces of wolf hair. At the beer check the items were counted and bagged up, only to be put into Vagiant’s truck for him to take home and feed to his farm sheep (come on Vagiant, we know you have some).

The second beer check was underneath a secluded, decorated bridge, aka a good boning spot. When the eagles arrived we noticed TMI and Semper a little sweaty and smiling, so the bridge holds true we’ll assume. Tranny took an opportunity to carve “ON ON” and a huge phallic symbol of his undying love for the hash in the shadows, and people were going down left and right sliding in the mud to get to some seating, some beer, and some delicious orange salty food.

After the trot back to the cars, ceremonies were held in true style. COMB received his 100th hash patch! A virgin did a safety down-down against the wind for his chivalry, as did Cox, Slurpee, and Full Mental Jacket. DA, 2 Vics, and COMB all received prize beers for finding the lewdest and most creative trash on trail. A successful Earth Day Hash! ON ON!