Hash Trash: Leap Year 2-29-2012

Hash Trash: Leap Year 2-29-2012

Hares: Coxcykle, Slurpee Seconds, Udderly Fu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ucked, and Damaged Goods.

Hounds: After School Special, Back Check 2, Chicken Dick, Creeping Charlie, Cum On My Back-teria, Diaper Rash, Full Mental Jacket, I Am Not A Cock, Just Ashley, Just Michael, KY King, Mother Inferior, Phantom of the Areola, Rambush: First Blood, Scottish Finger Cuffs, Semper Pi, Sex & Ate, Touch Myself In General, Vagiant, Whip It Out… and maybe some other wanks I’ve forgotten.

The hash began like many hashes have begun in the last year, with a bunch of idiots meandering around the parking lot at Bandemeer Park. There was something in the air that smelled of fine hashing though. Whether it was Damaged Goods Virgin hare perfume, the presence of the esteemed Coxcykle donning his flower bag, or the fog thicker than Just Ashley likes her dicks to be, the atmosphere was becoming electric (which I should point out is dangerous with that much fog and humidity). Ok, scratch that, intoxicating. Or maybe we’d just started drinking early. Anyway, after the arrival of most, some prelube beers, and lively discourse on the merits of zero-drop gore-tex shoes, hydration systems, and a shoes for delicious beer trade, circle began. We were all simultaneously shocked and yet quite complacent that Whip It Out showed up half way around circle. I mean, it is Whip… After a well crafted blessing from Semper Pi, the hares were out. Kind of… It would seem that Damaged Goods forgot her flour at the start and she came tearing back to the circle to get it after a minute or two.

Finally, without much fanfare, we were off. Whip went straight for the FRB, while others enjoyed some shiggy in bandemeer. The hares thoughtfully laid trail through a very nice, shiggy strewn, muddy swamp, and back to a more manicured trail (read deer trail). Once the pack finally found a human travelled trail, we were arrowed off back into the shiggy with yet another jaunt into the swamp. We finally worked our way out of the swamp again as it began to get dark. We did a bit of searching for trail through bandemeer and eventually found ourselves near or on the railroad tracks as in some cases. Trail headed across the tracks and into my favorite trail, Kuebler Langford park. There was a particularly tasty FRB beer on top of the hill that had already been opened by Whip It Out as he did whatever it is that Whip It Out does with regard to trail. Thankfully, he left the better portion of the Mississippi Mud for the rest of us. The pack was led down a nice long back check which led back to the FRB and insisted upon many butt slides down a hill. I don’t buy it that anybody could take that hill and not be beaten by the mud. Off we went into Barton Park, where we were greeted by another long back check. Across the railroad tracks and down along the river we were greeted by another FRB beverage: Orange Joose. This portion of trail concluded with a piece of previously unknown trail at which COMB found himself joyfully yelling, “I AM SO MANY EXCITES!!!!!” and a beer check at the mouth of a graffiti laden tunnel.

The hares were off quickly again to keep from taking too much time, and the pack followed yet again. There was a solid mix of trail and road from here out, but it was trail that has been unhashed in some years. My memory of this segment of trail is a bit hazy, but there was at least one FRB in a giant 1 liter can whose name I cannot pronounce. The trail ended in a quick trot up longshore drive and a back check down onto the trail on the north side of the river. The pack was somewhat divided between beer checks as Diaper Rash, Just Ashley, and COMB managed to arrive at the 2nd beer check some minutes ahead of their compatriots. Chicken Dick was rather irate upon his arrival at beer check number 2, because Diaper, COMB, and Just Ashley missed an excellent Bud Light Lime out there as well. Whoops.

We made our way back to the park for ceremonies, and were greeted with a warm fire to stand around making smores, toasting weenies, and singing Kum-ba-ya. What am I saying? None of that happened except the warm fire. We ceremonied, Just Michael still hasn’t been named although he somehow managed to snare both a walking and running hare while on walker trail, and both Vagiant and Back Check 2 came late. All in all, another wonderful Motown Ann Arbor Hash.

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