Hash Trash 3.4.12

Hash Trash 3.4.12

Hares: Diaper Rash, Just Michael, Just Ashley (and in a way, Ride the Pony)

Hashers: Ben Wa Ball-less, Jaws, Touch Myself In General, Semper Pi, Lube My Beads, Rambush: First Blood, I’m Not a Cock, After School Special, Donkey, Big Fat Fuck, Mother Inferior, KY King, No Pussy for You, (Ho Ho Ho) VAgiant!, Tranny Head, Heavy Load, Pubio, Phantom of the Areola, Udderly Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked, Just Melissa?, VIRGIN (crap I can’t remember her name, but she was pretty awesome!), and perhaps other wanks I can’t recall.

Location: Grosse Point (aka: MILF-ville)

As Hashers were arriving to circle up, the wind and generous clouds made for another tit-nipply start (Phantom of the Areola was pleased to not be the only one making a couple of good points…and for some, even some grosse points? You know that was a good one). The agonizing period of waiting for the run to start was lessened with intervals of bathroom breaks (btw: don’t go to the ACE hardware store, right No Pussy??!), beer and rides in the local Kroger shopping cart. The Grosse Pointers were gawking and, believe it or not, pointing at us as for interrupting their favorite Sunday afternoon passtime of being privileged.

Highlights of the Run: Many hashers skipping over streets and blocks to “out think” the trail laid by the hares, No Pussy For You’s uncanny ability to not signal when he’s on trail, Rambush: First Blood showing the oncoming traffic what it looks like to relieve yourself against the wind on the sandy beaches of Grosse Pointe, Donkey using her sex appeal to get every single freakin’ dog in the area to yelp and bark in her general direction, Semper Pi using one of her best attributes (other than her vocal chords for the necessary “SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUP!!!!!” at circle) and contributing to the Boob Check laid in the second half, and my personal favorite: Lube My Beads skipping his way back to the cars to the sung tune (by yours truly) “Skip to My Lube”.

The On After was at the Pony-Rash Ranch. The hashers ate their chili “Cincinnati Style” (just add spaghetti noodles!) and were forewarned of the digestive consequences of eating said chili. Luckily, there was no recreation of the bathroom scene from “Bridesmaids” at circle this evening. However, the night was young when WM took off. Circle was mild with accusations, but the always chivalrous Vagiant did a down-down for sharing his FRB beer with a few fellow hashers, as did a few backsliders (*cough*Ben-Wa, Jaws and Heavy Load *cough*). Throughout dinner hashers dove into some really deep and penetrating conversations, like how to use trail markings in body paint and foreplay (ON-IN! ON-OUT! ON-IN!), how the hell could Lube spill his weenie juice on Pony’s carseat, or how many flavors of jello shots does it take for a hasher to jump in the hot tub without their clothes.  No namings, No safety 3rd down downs, just a comfortable evening with a warm fire and a houseful of wanks.

Addendum: Following Winter Merkin’s exit, there was so much frivolity in the hot tub that it caused the neighborhood to lose power. At which point, KY King thought it was a good idea to stand naked in the window to entertain the passerbys. Mother Inferior and KY King schooled us young’uns on the infamous ‘popcorn trick’.

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